


If I Die Young...

by AnneMcSommers



Category: Misfits (TV 2009)
Genre: Canon Temporary Character Death, Flashbacks, Gen, International Fanworks Day 2021, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-17 23:02:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29479629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnneMcSommers/pseuds/AnneMcSommers
Summary: It was strange, to say that Nathan Young only started fearing the consequences of his actions after he knew they couldn't kill him.  Post-Season 1 Nathan has a series of panic attacks and flashbacks related to his dying and time in the coffin.   Because tht would have  to se
Kudos: 12





	If I Die Young...

Nathan sat on the roof of the community center smoking a cigarette, and it was one of those times that he was glad that Kelly wasn’t there. While traditionally he liked to sit with his feet dangling over the edge of the building, he was presently pressed up against the wall. He had started to sit in the usual spot when he got a glimpse of the fence below, and started to panic.

He had almost taken a second header off the roof, and barely managed to fall backwards and onto it instead. He never thought he would be grateful to feel the roof grit cutting open his palms, but that’s life. So he sat, chain smoking through the single pack of cigarettes that were supposed to last him the rest of the week, as he gasped for breath, and tried to calm down.

The irony was, calming down was the reason he was up here in the first place. He had laid down to sleep when the lights went off on the main level of the community centre. He hadn’t been bothered by the dark before, but now the pitch blackness reminded him of the coffin. 

He didn’t tell the others what it was like in there. How many times he woke up, how many times he died again gasping for air. That was what he was doing in his sleeping bag, gasping for air, and he thought the roof would be better. He would be able to breath up there, and for a minute it had worked. He burst through the door and the crisp night air, and ambient light of the nearby buildings and street lighting had let him breath.

Then he wanted to sit down and have a smoke, and realized this was just as bad as the dark. It was strange. He had lived his life being afraid of pretty much nothing. You had to think of consequences to be afraid and he was more of a live in the moment type guy. He counsellor had called it severe ADHD, and executive something or others by potato, tomato. Wait, that wasn’t right. 

Anyways, so here he was. Sitting up here, crying like a little girl, because he was afraid for the first time in his life. The irony of that was that he didn’t really have to be. Before all the stupid shit could have killed him, he should have been afraid of it, and now that he knew it wasn’t going to kill him, it was now that he was afraid. 

He lit the next cigarette off his current one, and took in a few breathes with both, before he smashed the first one out. God he was glad Kelly wasn’t here. He didn’t want her to know about this. He didn’t want any of them to know about this. What he really wanted was to go home. To have a home really, cause whatever progress he had with his mum was trashed after his “fake death prank”. 

And his dad, well he was an asshole still. He had seen him a few times since Jamie, but he didn’t imagine he would fancy living with the bloke. Or that his Da would let him crash there to be honest. So he just stayed, sitting on the roof, shivering in the cold, until the cigarettes ran out. Then until the sun rose, and he only left the roof when he saw Curtis heading towards the building, 30 minutes early as usual, the wanker. He creeped down the stairs, and snuck out the back, walking away from the community centre. He knew he would probably catch hell for it tomorrow, but that was later, and Nathan was all about today.

**Author's Note:**

> So I wrote this for international fanworks day, as this is one of the smaller fandoms I follow. Gotta admit, it isn't my best work, only really seemed to pick up the character voice half way through. Almost comes across as a POV change....


End file.
